Buh-rian (afireinbabylon) wrote in gouffatron,
Buh-rian
afireinbabylon
gouffatron

Body Wars

gentlemenMGOUFFE: hey, whats your favorite alcohol?
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: lol
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i'm a liquor girl usually
gentlemenMGOUFFE: ahh i see
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: you?
gentlemenMGOUFFE: you like partying?
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: yup
gentlemenMGOUFFE: yeah? well this is your liver. i wanted to tell you that if you keep drinking, im strikin' your ass with jaundice
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: hahaha
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: yea i know
gentlemenMGOUFFE: on top of that, when you poop in more colors than a bag of skittles dont be surprised
gentlemenMGOUFFE: as for the partying, im sure one day youre gonna run into my buddy "the clap". he's from the mean streets of rectumville
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i do not lol
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: just because i party doesn't mean i sleep around
gentlemenMGOUFFE: yeah? well how would you like an obstruction of the flow of bile out of the liver sweetheart?
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: whats your point
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: are you trying to get me to stop drinking or something?
gentlemenMGOUFFE: did you know that apart from the brain, i'm the most complex organ in the body?
gentlemenMGOUFFE: when you drink, i feel like ive got cerebal freakin' palsy
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: sounds like fun
gentlemenMGOUFFE: oh yeah, if you like getting saliva all oer the moulding of someones house
gentlemenMGOUFFE: seriously, do you know what happened to your cystic duct last saturday?
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i don't mind....its not my house
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: how did you know about that duct ?
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i tried to keep him a secret
gentlemenMGOUFFE: yeah? well he's in a cast for the next three weeks thanks to you
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i'm aware but hes recovering on a happy note
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: theres no need to bring that guy back down he knows what hes been through
gentlemenMGOUFFE: he's been through too much
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i get your point
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: but he secretly told me he's ready for more!!!
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: in fact....wheres that shot glass
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: lets get this party goin NOW!
gentlemenMGOUFFE: THAT'S A LIE!!!!! HE'S NOT LIKE THAT!!! HE'S A SELFLESS INDIVIDUAL!!
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: well i'm afraid you don't know him as well as i do
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: my fine fellow
gentlemenMGOUFFE: maybe you should get a section c
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i prefer section f
gentlemenMGOUFFE: give him some fresh air
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: well i didn't tell you this before but i'm your brain
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i know you havn't heard from me in a long time
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: so this comes as a surprise
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i think its about time you start using me some more
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: instead of keeping that nice head of yours up your ass all the time
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: darling
gentlemenMGOUFFE: oh yeah? well i'm really your penis
gentlemenMGOUFFE: and im gonna make you my bitch
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: thats funny
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: sounds like a good time
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i take it you as well like the penis
gentlemenMGOUFFE: i love myself.. unlike you
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: well i'm glad my penis loves itself
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i treat you right though
gentlemenMGOUFFE: i got a strap-on uzi right here. im not afraid to go to work right now on your duodenum
gentlemenMGOUFFE: Youll be all like "Ow! My duodenum's acting up!"
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: happens all the time
gentlemenMGOUFFE: no joking.
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: not a big deal buddy
gentlemenMGOUFFE: im a big man. im like being face to face with a rugby ball
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i prefer baseball
gentlemenMGOUFFE: you want me to call the clap?!?! DO YOU?!
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: sure bring him on
gentlemenMGOUFFE: cuz im warning you. he's a juggalo
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i already am good friends with his buddies syphillis and mr. herpes
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: syphillis doesn't really talk to me much anymore
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: but mr . herpes likes to visit quite often
gentlemenMGOUFFE: little do you know, sir syphillis and lord herpes are like pit bulls. they'll turn on you in the blink of an eye
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: they've been good to me thus far
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: thank you for the heads up though....matters like these must not be taken lightly
gentlemenMGOUFFE: yeah, well i gotta go develop that embryo you conjured up a month ago with that kid henry
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: thats been taken care of
gentlemenMGOUFFE: so ill be back.. im warning you

---10 Minutes later---

gentlemenMGOUFFE: one more thing... im your vagina too
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: so what AREN'T you on my body? you seem to have been so many things lately
gentlemenMGOUFFE: ohh dont fuck with me. i'll put period blood in your home water supply.
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i'm on the pill thanks
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: you should know that dragon breath
gentlemenMGOUFFE: i knifed that pill 5 minutes after you swallowed it
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: o really........what time was that approximately ?
gentlemenMGOUFFE: it ain't doin any good honey
gentlemenMGOUFFE: sooner or later, youll submit
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: submit to what
gentlemenMGOUFFE: the worst period of your life
gentlemenMGOUFFE: it'll be so bad, you could probably get a job at the little league lobbing baseballs out of your vagina
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: i can't wait
gentlemenMGOUFFE: im not kidding. im a crazy motherfucker
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: we'll see
gentlemenMGOUFFE: bring it on!
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: its already been broughten
gentlemenMGOUFFE: im from the streets
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: interesting
gentlemenMGOUFFE: oh yeah, moscow represent
X JeN AnD JUiCeX: im-fucking-pressive


VERDICT: J4UND1CE OWN3D
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